Broken
by LeanzaLestrange
Summary: one shot. after the war, danger still lurks, but how does it effect the people that love them the most? story better than summary.


**disclaimer: JK Rowling said I was only allowed to borrow them Too bad I messed them up.**

**This fanfic somewhat follows the Harry Potter story line but it can be about anyone. One of the characters were implied but the other could be anyone really. I wrote this a long time ago when the idea came to me and I just couldn't let it go.**

**It is my first story so please be nice. I would enjoy some constructive criticism though so feel free to give me your honest opinion. **

Something was different that night. I waited for you to come home but there was no sign of you anywhere. I sighed hoping that you were okay but I couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness. Something was wrong but I couldn't place it. I just hoped you would come home soon, wrap me in your embrace, kiss my forehead, and hold me. I just needed to hear your heartbeat and know you were close to me; you were safe from the evil surrounding us.

I tossed and turned in our huge empty bed waiting for you to return to me. The house was silent and eerie. But you didn't come that night. I woke from a fitful sleep drenched in sweat. The nightmare seemed so real. You hadn't come home and I had no idea where you had disappeared to. But as soon as I swung my hand to feel your warm body sleeping beside me unharmed and I realized it was not a dream. You were gone and the empty feeling was back in the pit of my stomach. I rushed to the floo hoping to see your pale and beautiful face but it wasn't there. On the other end was the face of an elderly and fragile looking woman explaining she was a healer. Something was wrong, and my suspicions were confirmed when her sympathetic voice told me the news.

I remember everything so clearly now. It was raining outside and I heard the loud pitter patter of the drops hitting the roof of our home. I collapsed on the floor in tears no longer trying to stay strong. Why stay strong when you are not here anymore? It wasn't like I had anyone to be there for any longer. You were gone, in heaven with God looking down on me. Something changed that miserable morning. Nothing was the same in my mind. I had to get out. No longer could I live in that house with the memories floating in my mind of times with you. It was killing me to think about our first date. Our first kiss. It had been our first everything. I remember that when the healer finally got off the phone I panicked. Throwing anything within reach down the stairs and on the floor. Our possessions were crushed glass and porcelain now. I felt guilty when I picked up the necklace you had given me for my birthday. I felt guilty for throwing it and cursing you for leaving me here alone.

Clothes were thrown in a suitcase and I was heading out. But then I saw something that made my already broken heart crumble into dust. It was the photograph on the mantle, the photo my mom took of the two of us at Christmas dinner with all of our friends in the background. I wondered if you remembered that day as vividly as I still do. Now, I am pretty sure you think about it up there with God by your side. I had to grab the picture and sit down on the couch. I can see now that I was so broken then. I needed you but you were not there. It was another first for the house to hold the memory. It was the first time you had not been there when I needed you the most. I couldn't leave the house. I fell asleep there, clutching the picture of you for dear life. But I'm sure you know that, you were probably watching me the entire time.

When I had woken up I knew what had to be done. I could not run from the inevitable, I had to take care of things. I realized it was not your intention to die; you couldn't prevent that death eater to kill you. So unsuspecting and happy to be free in the world, you had to die. The war was over and you were still dead. You couldn't defend yourself in time. I realized that I couldn't have either. A few days later was your funeral. I wonder now if you had watched it. I watched so many people go up to your casket and say goodbye. I was the only one who had not but I hope you understand why I had not gone up there first. The preacher spoke and silent tears trickled down my face. I had to go up and speak myself and was embarrassed by the dark circles under my eyes and my blotchy face due to crying so much in the past few days. After people had begun to leave the grave I had finally gone to see you.

But no matter what, I was unable to say goodbye. To me, goodbye meant saying that everything that we had accomplished together, every memory, every kiss, every touch, every glance we had made was gone. That it didn't matter and we were forgetting. I never wanted to forget, and I still don't. So in case you didn't hear me then, my words were this. "I love you, baby. So much, and I will never forget any of this. You will always be in my heart and I hope you are my guardian angel, Lord knows I need one. So it is so long for now, baby, because I will see you again no matter how long it takes. See you again, my love." I remember now that I kissed your cheek as they began to lower you into the ground. Tears pooled in my hazel eyes and I realized that yours were still open. I saw that you had died with love in those gray, twinkling eyes of yours.

It was then that I realized I could make it. I could deal with everything day by day and not be scared. You were not and I wouldn't be either. I just wanted to thank you for everything. For loving me, for being there, for showing me that I was strong and able. But most of all I wanted to tell you how much I still love you. And now when I look at my son, I see the person you once were, and I tell him how wonderful his father was. How much you love him and how you watch over him, even though you didn't know about him before you died. Before I told you the night I found out, while I spoke to you in the darkness and solitude of my bedroom.

I look back and think of how great we were. And I can safely say that the house does not hold a certain memory I once thought it did. You never left my side through every moment after I was told you were dead. You were there in the room when I cried and held your picture tight against me trying to remember the sound of your heartbeat, slow and steady, strong and content. As I lie here holding our son I think of how you made everything in my life better, before and after you were gone physically. And yet, I don't dwell on sadness but I embrace the adventures I will live the next day with your spirit filling me and showing me how great life can be.

**Hope you liked the story. Please review!!!!**


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